January 5, 2010

A Funeral

I went to my first funeral since 2002 yesterday.

In 2002 my grandmother died and my mom just happened to be visiting and was able to keep my kids for me while Stephen and I went to the funeral.

Since then, many people have died but I have not attended their funerals. Many special people in the churches we have served in have died and I have stayed home with the kids while Stephen went and not only represented our family but also, most times, preached the funeral.
We take the kids to visitations the night before the funerals, that seems to always be a more casual, yet more emotional, time. The kids usually stay in the lobby and don't cause any trouble.

A funeral is different. As you can understand.

Over the weekend a beautiful, Christian lady in our church died. She was a mentor to so many women and a living example of a Godly woman for so many to emulate.

Stephen asked me to go to the funeral. It is the first time he has asked me to go to a funeral, not quite like a date, but still he wanted to be with me. How sweet. A funeral date.

Anyway. More about this lady.

She had written all of her funeral plans out and put them in a special place to be opened at the time of her death. Her family remembered this and did so.

She had let them know what dress she wanted to be buried in, what pall bearers she wanted, who she wanted to preach the funeral, and where she wanted the funeral to be held. It helped the family so much that she had already made these decisions for them.

Everytime we move I plan Stephen's funeral in my head. I know it sounds morbid, but I don't think of it that way. I think of it as being prepared.

I've decided, since I heard about this woman and her funeral plan, that I too will write down my wishes for my funeral. She wrote hers 8 years ago. Thankfully the dress she wanted to wear still fit! I don't know that I will be able to be so specific about my clothing. As much as I like to shop, I would be getting into that envelope all the time and changing my outfit!!

What do you think about that? Will you make funeral plans before hand?


  1. you know Meemaw had her dress picked out way before hand. She loved that turquoise dress.

  2. Julie, when my brother was killed at 40 years old, he didn't have a will or a plan or anything. Things have been a mess for his children. It really opened my eyes because we are not promised tomorrow. I want things spelled out so that there aren't any questions or guess work for my loved ones.

  3. Julie,
    The Park Wife here. I need to plan a visit to Star City, I have been waiting and waiting on you guys to come here. Just kidding, the holidays are always busy.

    As far as the funeral thing, I think it is so important to talk about this with the ones you love. My dad died almost 5 years ago and we were not prepared at all. All we knew is that he wanted bagpipes played (of course, that happened). When someone dies, the days following are such a blur. I have made my mom and hubby tell me exactly what they would want, I don't want to go through that again. It is not a comfortable subject, but it really makes it easier on those you leave behind. For me, you guys plan a huge, fun party and celebrate my life! Um, you might want to meet me first!